The Reason Why Spirit Switched Partners
by PriorityMail
Summary: Stein gets curious about why Spirit enjoys romantic encounters. And you can't stop Stein when he's got a question he wants to experiment on. Rated M for language and sexual content.


"Senpai". Stein sipped his tea, and looked over his anatomy textbook to blink at Spirit, who was sprawled on the couch, a bit tipsy and reading a dirty magazine. It was the wee hours of the morning, and, as usual, everyone else had gone to bed. Spirit had rolled through the doorway to the dormitory living room a while after midnight, wailing about a girl who had dumped him, reeking slightly of booze, and draped himself onto the couch dramatically. The last couple of boys who had been heading off to bed had pointed and laughed at him, continuing to joke and chuckle about him as they had continued down the hallway to their bedrooms. Stein had been up late as usual, looking up interesting things in his anatomy book.

He peered at the older student, who was staring intently at his magazine and drooling slightly.

"Senpai." He repeated.

"Hoh?" he replied, looking up and blinking dreary-eyed at Stein, looking rather confused and slurping the drool off his mouth. "Wah? What do you want?"

Stein closed his book and stood up from his armchair.

"What is it about sexual encounters that you find so fascinating?" He asked, pushing his glasses up slightly.

"Wha- Whaaa?" Spirit choked on his words and stared, dumb-founded, at the pre-teen boy.

"Well, you spend a lot of time pursuing sexual relations with women, and a lot of emotional energy worrying about it as well. Surely this must be a very enjoyable endeavor, for there are so many humans so passionate about pursuing it. At first thought it should appear such relations serve only the purposes of reproduction, so why so many additional interactions and worries? It puzzles me." Stein had been advancing slowly on his weapon, and now stood in front of the couch where Spirit was still half-sitting, one eyebrow raised, face twitching and mouth hanging open, dumbfounded at this latest insanity from his meister.

"For example: kissing. What purpose does it serve? I realized that these questions can be answered like any other..." he crouched slightly and reach forward with this hands "through experimentation." His knee touched Spirit's knee, and this seemed to snap him out of his shock.

"WAAAAHHH YOU'RE NUTS! GET AWAY, THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE KISSING ME!" He scrambled backwards up the couch and climbed sideways along the back of it, tumbling down onto the floor at the base of the entryway to the hallway where the bedrooms were. Stein calmly walked around the couch, saying:

"Come on, now, senpai. I have a question I want answered. I want to experiment..." Spirit scrambled to his feet, tried to side-step past Stein back into the living room, but Stein caught his elbows and pinned him against the wall. Shivers went up Spirit's spine as his breath heaved slightly out of fear. Stein's face had started to spread into that grin, that nightmare-inducing smile that sometimes kept him up at night, flashing through his vision and sending him staring wildly around the room to make sure he was alone. That face of insanity that made him regret his choice of meister...

He had thought he would be a good influence, like a charming older brother to tame the crazy boy's mind. He had imagined the girls admiring him as he knelt before Stein, giving him a brotherly pat on the shoulder, consoling him about his worries. Oh, how wrong he had been! Stein had created nothing BUT worries. He, Spirit Alburn, was supposed to be Stein's senpai, his nii-san, even! But instead he was terrified of him!

"...and you know it's best not to keep me from my experiments." He face split into a manic grin, the shine on his glasses hiding his eyes, as he pushed his face closer to Spirit's. He deftly moved his hands from pinning Spirit's elbows, and grabbed the front of his shirt, slamming him into the wall again. He had such surprising strength and control over others when he got like this, despite his glasses barely reaching the bottom of Spirit's chin. He laughed, and licked Spirit's neck, around the jawline.

"Well, senpai? I thought you enjoyed such encounters?"

"N- I- Wh-" Spirit stuttered, face twitching and beads of sweat forming on his forehead from the fear. Finally Stein planted his lips on his senpai's, sucking and massaging at his face with surprising agility. He stuck his tongue through his weapon's teeth with confidence, probing his mouth while his hands traveled up to clutch the back of his head.

Spirit was half-panicking, and sorrily wishing he had gone easy on the alcohol at the club that night. He could feel his head swimming, he wanted this torture to end, this was so humiliating! Just wait, another boy will be woken up and walk down that hallway, then I'll be in real shit! Wahhh, none of the girls will like me! Everyone will call me a fag and laugh at me! TTATT

Stein paused for a moment to look at Spirit's face. His eyes were closed, and tears were streaming down his face.

"hmmmph, this isn't working right." His eyebrows creased slightly in annoyance, and then he grabbed Spirit's shirt front again and whirled him around, slammed him down onto the coffee table.

"SENPAI. Pay better attention! I'm trying to answer my question about why people find this enjoyable, but you seem to just be afraid like usual!" He knelt on the table over him, planting his hands on either side of Spirit's head. Spirit still had the breath knocked out of him slightly, but was trying to make his brain form words to yell at his meister, to tell him he's crazy, to stop trying his crazy experiments on him, anything! But before he muster a word, Stein had planted his lips on his again, but this time he was trying a gentle, noninvasive kiss. Having expected something as violent as everything else Stein was doing, Spirit was taken-aback, and even gasped slightly. Something stirred in the back of his chest.

Wait, what? No, no, that's just fear. Stein is nuts, this has to stop! Ugh, why is he carrasing my face? It's like a sweet, romantic porno dream gone horribly wrong!

"Wrong...?" a little voice in the back of his head whispered. YES wrong, this is the ULTIMATE wrong, UTERLY 100% wrong in SO many ways!

"...oh, hell, he's so good at it though! Who cares who it is, we live for this! And you can't keep denying that feeling in your chest. You're enjoying this, Spirit-" the voice continued. NO! No, no, no, I am NOT! Stein had a gentle hold on his chin now, and was brushing the sides of their faces together. He could feel his meister's eyelashes, slowly caressing the stubble on his cheek, as his hair trailed behind. His heart soared, quite of its own accord. ACK! What the hell was wrong with him all of a sudden?

"Ah, you seem more in the right mood now. I must have been rushing it. Seems that emotion research is quite a finicky thing, eh senpai?" His grin was growing again. "Heh, I can even feel my own heart beating faster. The adrenaline is really pumping now." The insanity face returned in full force, as he laughed, LAUGHED and pulled Spirit up by the shoulders, crossing his legs around his weapon's back, putting their faces nose to nose, and saying with that high-pitched insanity voice of his.

"Who knew this would be so EXHILARATING!?" He pushed his lips onto Spirit's again, practically attacking his face as he raised himself into a semi-kneeling position, his feet still under Stein, and practically breaking Spirit's back as he slammed him down, knocking a glass and several magazines off the table.

AUGH! So much for being gentle! And just listen to him! Calling this a fucking line of research! And here I am, getting so fucking turned on by it... waaaah! And he's so scary when he's got his crazy face on ;A; UGH even the beauties at the club can't compare to what he's doing! He's like a fucking professional DD': urgh... URGH! No, no I can't be getting a boner right now, I can't be! How is this happening?

Stein pulled his head back suddenly, and his grin of insanity somehow grew even wider. "Oooo~ so now the erection starts! Having fun, senpai?" He grabbed at Spirit's pants and starting undoing them with swift and dexterous hands, while Spirit started yelling and trembling, and frantically tried to escape again. Stein pinned him down with ease, and slipped his other hand into Spirit's boxers, feeling him up. A fresh grin spread across his face as he started to laugh.

"keh heh heh... KEH HEH HEH HEH HEH" he continued as he plopped himself down on Spirit's knees, his feet still cross-legged under Spirit's lower back. "Urk" Spirit grumbled at this new, uncomfortable bind he was in.

Stein began undoing his own pants, and Spirit started switching into full-out panic mode. "AHHHHH WHY ME? I NEVER SHOULD HAVE AGREED TO BE YOUR PARTNER, YOU LITTLE PERVERT, YOU'RE FUCKING INSANE!" Tears flowed down his face (and snot from his nose) as he twisted around, pushing at Stein's knees with his newly-freed arms. Stein, having barely been budged by Spirit's frantic squirming, grabbed his shoulder, slammed it to the table, and said quite calmly:

"Senpai, the experiment is not complete yet. I still have many unanswered questions... I am curious, quite curious what this must feel like to make so many people go to such lengths to attain it. I wish to penetrate you, senpai. And you the same to me. Although I am sure we do not have the proper sense organs in the anus to truly appreciate what a female human would feel, it is the best I can do with this body." He put a hand on his chin and stared off for a moment, no doubt wondering if he could devise an experiment to give himself a vagina.

Spirit, meanwhile, was on the verge of fainting after listening, trembling, to Stein's monologue. Spit was pouring out of his mouth where he had left it hanging open in his usual dumb-struck facial expression, and his eyes swam back and forth as the fear threatened to rise up and blot out his consciousness completely. He saw, blurrily, Stein's face, frowning slightly in concentration and staring off into the distance, before he slipped away. Stein stared off into the corner for a little while longer before returning his attention to the death scythe.

"Hoh? Huh. He fainted. Huh, guess I'll have to continue this experiment another time." He pulled his legs out from under Spirit's back, and climbed off the side of the table. "If I engaged an unconscious person, that wouldn't be scientifically sound at all. I had a pre-designated set of conditions for this experiment, and it wouldn't do to compromise my integrity as a scientist." He did up his pants, and shook his legs a bit, for the blood circulation had been cut off from sitting cross-legged on top of Spirit.

"We'll try again, soon, senpai. Good night." He turned to leave the living room, but hesitated. "Oh, this isn't your bedroom. You'll be complaining of back-aches tomorrow if I left you sleeping on the coffee table." He muttered, forgetting about the discomfort he had already caused Spirit's back during his mania, as he scooped the death scythe up and dragged him to his bed. A thought occurred to him along the way, that this presented the opportunity to answer another question he had pondered about human sexual relations. He planted Spirit on one side of his messy bed, and got into the bed next to him.

"Why do humans enjoy sleeping next to their sexual partner? It seems cumbersome to have another person in one's bed while trying to sleep." He wondered if the enjoyment they felt when sleeping together was higher after successfully having copulated. He decided this would serve as an adequate control run, and he would sleep in Spirit's bed again after they had sex, and compare the results. He propped Spirit up on his side, shimmying in towards his back, and tried to tuck his knees under Spirit's butt. He had to shimmy down a bit and pull the pillow down with him to complete the spooning position. He fell asleep hoping he'd be taller than his senpai soon, to make such things easier.


End file.
